Liliana

Liliana

By

Kami Orr

“Woah!” the coachman hollered, and the carriage lulled to a stop in front of one of the grandest houses in Trumane. I peered through the carriage window at the edifice that held my fate within its walls. Ashdown Manor loomed overhead three stories high. I couldn’t even see the top without craning my neck out the window. Who even needed a third story? It just screamed ostentatious. Although my home was similar in size, it had only two stories—much more practical.

I gathered my dress as the footman opened the carriage door, then stepped out onto the cobblestone drive. Mother and Father followed, dressed to the nines. I fiddled with my fan nervously as we approached the front steps, my heart pounding in my chest like a herd of galloping horses.

Glowing lanterns illuminated our way up the stairs to the main entrance. As we neared the doors, that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach intensified. Every step closer to the manor was one step closer to what felt like the end of my life—the end of freedom. I wished I could turn around, run to the carriage, and go as far away from here as the horses would take me. Alas, it was time to face my fate.

I stepped into the entry hall and a well-dressed man offered to take my cloak. The golden glow of the ballroom spilled out through the open doors and vivacious music echoed down the corridor. Mother whispered nervously to Father as she straightened his tie. Then she turned to me and fidgeted with my sleeves. I waved her hand away.

“It’s fine, Mother,” I snapped. It was bad enough that she made me dress in white as a symbol of the occasion, but I wasn’t about to let her groom me in public. She was more excited for tonight, I dare say, than her own wedding; though, that’s not saying much, for hers was arranged as well.

Father escorted Mother and me down the corridor and into the ballroom. Dresses of every color twirled and swished in the center of the room. The rumbling sound of conversation and laughter bounced off the ivory walls.

On any other occasion, I’d have enjoyed the pleasant atmosphere. But tonight, all signs of pleasantry simply felt foreboding—like I was about to be the target of a cruel trick. I felt exposed, as if my white dress was screaming, “Look at me—the bride to be!”

Why couldn’t I have just been born poor? Then it wouldn’t matter who I married, for there would be no such thing as an “advantageous union.” I could’ve married any other poor man out of love, and we would’ve lived in poverty and bliss the rest of our days.

We stood in line, waiting to greet Lord and Lady Ashdown. I rubbed my sweaty palms on my skirt, trying to make it look like I was simply fluffing it up. I looked around the room at all the eligible young men, wondering to which I would soon belong. A few options piqued my interest, but I was sure I wouldn’t have that good of luck. No, I had resigned myself to the fact that my future husband would be unattractive and idiotic. I figured, if those were my expectations, chances were quite good that things couldn’t be any worse than I’d imagined. Perhaps I would even be pleasantly surprised.

The family in front of us moved past the hosts and we stepped forward. Lady Ashdown was a vision in emerald-green, her dress embroidered with golden beads from top to bottom. Her ebony hair was immaculately styled atop her head and finished off with a golden tiara. She perked up as we approached.

“My Lord Campion, Lady Campion, welcome to Ashdown Manor.”

They each proceeded with the pleasantries, then turned toward me.

“And this must be the lady of the hour!” Lady Ashdown exclaimed.

I took a deep breath as Mother guided me forward.

“This,” said Mother, “is our daughter, Liliana.”

Lady Ashdown grabbed my hands and kissed my cheeks. “And what a lovely thing you are, my dear.”

I smiled as best I could under the circumstances. All the attention just made me feel uncomfortable. I’d have rather been holed up in my room with a good book.

“Well,” Lady Ashdown clapped her hands, “why don’t I find Torsden and let you two finally meet, hmm?” She disappeared into the mesh of fancy suits and gowns.

Torsden—the name I’d have to live with the rest of my life. Hopefully his face didn’t match the name, although I wouldn’t mind living with an unattractive husband, as long as he was loving and kind. But what if he turned out to be callous and cruel? What if he was a buffoon? What if we got home on the wedding night and he revealed his hidden collection of snake skins?

I closed my eyes and tried to steady my nerves, then heard Lady Ashdown’s voice. “Liliana…”

I opened my eyes, my future husband standing an arm’s reach away.

“…may I present my son, Lord Torsden of Trumane.”

Torsden stood a full head taller than me with strikingly handsome features. His jet-black hair fell in a soft wave across his forehead. His eyes were such a dark brown that they nearly matched his hair. He stood with an air of confidence befitting a nobleman. I felt a twinge of jealousy, but faked my own confidence.

“My lord,” I said, lifting my skirt to curtsy.

He gave a bow and said, “Pleasure.”

Lady Ashdown linked arms with us both and walked us toward the center of the room. “You two have no idea how happy Lord Ashdown and I are to see you together. Such a smart match, as I’m sure you agree.” She chuckled at her apparent cleverness. “Now, I imagine you’d like some time to get to know each other. Why don’t you start things off with a dance?”

She gave us a gentle nudge toward the dance floor, then walked over to the musicians’ stand. A few moments later, the musicians finished their song and the conductor announced, “Prey, take your places for the Allemande.”

Torsden offered his hand without a word. I took it and he led me cordially to my place, then took his opposite mine. The introduction played. He bowed. I curtsied.

He took my hand in his and spun me around. His body moved through the motions with ease, but his mind seemed preoccupied. Every time I glanced his direction, his eyes were off somewhere else. I understood, this was an awkward situation—meeting the person with which you’re going to share the most intimate of moments—but he could at least spare a glance in my direction. After all, we were soon to be husband and wife.

I waited a bit longer to see if he would initiate the conversation, but he did not. Not being one for awkward silence, I decided to start us off.

“You have a lovely home.”

He twirled me into his arm, and we trotted in a circle.

“Thank you,” he said.

I waited for something more, but that was it.

Alright, I thought, I can handle a challenge.

“Three stories…that must get tiresome. Although, I imagine your legs are very strong.” I snickered myself, then paused. “Not…that I’m imagining your legs. I mean, I’ve wondered…uh…that is…never mind.” I trailed off and decided I’d be better off discontinuing my attempts at conversation. Perhaps he had the right idea, keeping to himself.

He chuckled.

Finally! A response, I thought. Maybe there is a sense of humor hidden behind that stern face.

“Actually,” he said, “I quite enjoy the views from the third floor. I imagine you would too, but I hear your estate only has two floors.”

It could have been taken as teasing if he hadn’t peered haughtily over his perfect nose. No, I could tell he really did think himself better than I. Any attractiveness I saw in him a moment ago disappeared instantly.

I waited for him to speak, for I was not about to attempt further humiliation. But it was apparent he had no interest in speaking to me. Oh, he pretended to show interest whenever his mother or father looked in our direction—a glance and a forced smile—but that was it.

Throughout the remainder of the dance, I continued to stare at him, studying his eyes intently. They were cold and empty—devoid of emotion. They almost looked bored. Was this to be my future? This man, this hollow shell? Was I now condemned to stare into a dark void for all eternity, never to know a look of affection?

The song neared its end. I continued my fixed gaze. I could tell made him uncomfortable, which gave me extreme satisfaction. He bowed to me, and I curtsied. He reached out his hand to escort me off the floor, but I turned and walked off alone, feeling quite pleased with myself for repaying his callousness. I’m sure I’d never hear the end of it from Mother and Father, but for now, it was worth the impending retribution.

I walked out the side doors and into a small courtyard with a tall surrounding hedge. An opening in the hedge enticed me to enter and escape the world inside the ballroom. I had to get away from all expectations, just for a moment—to clear my head. I walked through a narrow corridor of hedges into a second courtyard. A large willow tree shrouded the courtyard. Near the trunk sat a lonely bench. I started toward the bench, but tripped on a root and tumbled to the ground.

“Ow!” I yelled, grasping my ankle in pain.

“My Lady?” called a familiar voice. “Are you alright?”

A hand grabbed ahold of my arm, while another wrapped around my waist and hoisted me up with ease. I turned to view my rescuer. It was Torsden—the one person I was most hoping to avoid.

How dare he follow me! I thought.

“I’m quite alright, thank you,” I said coldly, pushing his arms away. I attempted to walk to the bench, but stumbled to the ground with another yelp.

“Please, let me help you.” He wrapped his arms around me again and assisted me to my feet, and then to the bench. “Quite the ironic circumstance…injuring your ankle at a ball.” He didn’t even try to hide his smirking.

I gaped at him in shock. “Quite,” I replied, my frigid tone seeming to have no effect on him.

He half-smiled and said, “Such a shame; for, I was hoping for a dance.” What nerve, I thought. I refused to play his game and turned away. “I’ve had enough dancing for the night.”

“Well, it appears so. But I had a thought,” he said wryly. “What if I did all the dancing since you are…uh…incapacitated? That way the rest of the ball and the lovely music won’t be a complete waste. Hmm?”

I turned back to him slowly. Who was this person? How could he change from the pompous snob he was in the ballroom to this amiable flirt so quickly? Before, he couldn’t seem to spare me a single glance, let alone hold my gaze. And now, instead of avoiding my eyes, he stared at them intensely. He didn’t even attempt once to look away, even though I stared far longer than would normally be comfortable.

A slow smile grew on his face, breaking my trance. I shook my head. How could one person evoke such opposite emotions within such a short span of time? Perhaps he deserved a second chance.

“Why not?” I conceded with a sigh. “I’ve already made a fool of myself. I suppose it’s your turn.” I offered my hand to him. He took it and sidled up close to me—too close—then slid his other hand along my back and around my waist. He really was handsome—a little too handsome. And the alluring expression on his face didn’t make loathing him easy. He lingered a moment, our faces within inches of each other. It was as if he were noticing me for the first time. His eyes scanned my face. I stopped breathing. He slowly pulled me to my feet, keeping his face close to mine. My breath finally came out in a shaky sigh, and he smiled.

He wrapped my arm around his neck and led me tenderly to the center of the courtyard. The music was slow and soft, but could easily be heard through the hedges.

Torsden released my waist, holding my hands for a moment to make sure I didn’t lose my balance. I assured him I was fine, and he took his position across from me.

He bowed. I nodded my head in a mock curtsy. He offered his right hand, and I gave him mine. Careful to not pull me off balance, he spun himself with extra finesse and flamboyance. I tried not to laugh as he kept his face excessively serious. I could tell he was just making up the dance as he went. He tippy toed around me, flapping his arms like a bird, then added a leap, flailing his arms overhead. I burst out with laughter and lost my balance. I flung my arms around his neck as he caught me around my waist. We continued laughing as he steadied me, then I realized our noses were almost touching and our laughter faded into intense focus.

My fingers found the hair on the back of his neck and couldn’t help running through it. He reached his hand up to my arm and pulled it off his shoulder, sliding his hand down the length of my arm until it reached my fingers. He pulled my hand up to his lips and kissed it, lingering longer than appropriate. My face flushed hot.

He let go and walked around to stand behind me. I felt his right hand slide slowly around my waist, then he held my left hand in his to form an intimate version of tandem position. He swayed us back and forth to the slow rhythm of the music, humming the tune into my hair. I closed my eyes, breathing in the moment.

“You’re an amazing dancer,” he whispered, his lips grazing my ear. I laughed, shakily. I couldn’t believe what was happening. Within just a few moments, this man had taken me from revulsion to passion—more passion than I’d ever dreamed possible. I tried to make sense of it—to give an answer to this riddle of a man. Perhaps he couldn’t be himself in front of all those people, and needed to be in private to show me who he truly was. That seemed plausible. I could happily live with that man in public if this was who he was in private.

The swaying continued and he pulled my hand in close to his chest. As he hummed, I felt his hot breath against my ear, and that was it. I had to get some answers before I completely lost all sense of decorum. I turned my face to his, ready to demand he give me some explanation for his behavior. He stopped swaying and stared into my eyes with a soft smile. I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. It was already too late. He had captivated me the moment his eyes locked on mine. He inched closer and let go of my hand, then brushed the curls off my shoulder and wrapped his hand around the back of my neck. I closed my eyes, breathed in, and let him pull me in until his lips landed soft against mine.

The world could have vanished away, and I never would have known it. All that existed was him and me—two souls that were destined to be together. Two souls becoming one in a tender kiss that sent lightning bolts striking through my body. This was the man I was going to marry.

Yes, it is a smart match, Lady Ashdown, I thought.

Any animosity I felt for my parents forcing this match evaporated instantly. I could have stayed there forever, and I planned to.

His lips released mine all too soon. I studied those entrancing eyes, almost disbelieving what had just happened. My mouth couldn’t help curving up into a flustered smile.

He tucked a curl behind my ear, then took a step back and looked me over, approvingly. “Best dance I’ve ever had.”

I shook my head in embarrassment, then teased back. “I agree, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a leap quite so graceful.”

He burst into a hearty laugh, and my heart melted. I couldn’t wait to make him laugh like that for the rest of my life.

In a swift motion, he reached around my back and under my legs, swooping me up into his arms and carried me back over to the bench.

“Your thrown, my lady,” he said as he sat me down.

We giggled again, then sat for a moment, taking in what had just transpired between us. I stared at the playful shadows the moon cast through the willow tree onto the ground. I was happy. For the first time since my parents had revealed their odious plans for me, I felt happy. There was a slight twinge of annoyance at the satisfaction they would get when they found out I actually approved of the match. But I could live with that. I could live with him. Torsden.

Perhaps that name really isn’t so bad after all, I thought.

He broke the silence. “I must apologize for not being a true gentleman. I mean, I don’t even know your name.”

I turned to him sharply. “What?”

Now he was blushing. “Your name. Customarily, before I, uh…dance…with a girl, it’s only proper that I know her name.”

Was this some kind of joke? Was he just toying with me?

“I don’t understand, you’ve forgotten it already?”

He frowned, “I’m sorry, did I miss it?”

I shook my head in disbelief. There was no possible way he did not know my name. If I had been hearing his name for months on end in preparation for our marriage, then he must have been doing the same. I’d about had it with this man.

“You know my name. Liliana.”

All life drained from his face.

“What’s the matter?” I asked.

He slid away from me to the other side of the bench.

“Torsden, why are you toying with me like this?”

He just sat there, gaping at me, then stuttered, “I…I’m…”

“My Lady, Liliana,” a voice called from the other side of the courtyard.

It was…Torsden. Another Torsden. I looked back and forth from him and the one at my side. My heart raced with panic and confusion.

The second Torsden continued, “I see you’ve met my twin brother, Tane.”